I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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