Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize