I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
