i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
