I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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