Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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