So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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