People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
