Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
