i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
