Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
