You really coming over, don't trick.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
