She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
