he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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