Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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