Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
