I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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