when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
In America we eat man semen.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
