DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
