shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
