so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
