I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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