i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize