Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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