I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
