Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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