i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
