Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
