Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
