i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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