Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
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