Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
