I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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