im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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