apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
