3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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