you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
