i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
