I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
