I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
