I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
