I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
His nipple licking is glorious
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