If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
