Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
