just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
