Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
