I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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