I bet he comes in French.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
