so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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