I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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