I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
