What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
