So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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