margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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