I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
