My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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