literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
