yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
