i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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