Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize