So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
