4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
